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[ | April 07, 07 - 3:41 PM]
I guess I have an obsession with murder or killing or something, or maybe I just have gotten sick of living....seeing as my last entry was a poem about death...and that's all I've been thinking about lately.
I eat meat...does this mean that I am a murder? I do not physically go out and kill the animal I eat, but am I still a butcher? You could answer those questions in two different ways....the regular vegetarian way to answer those questions, and the regular meat eater way to answer those questions. Does our diet truly change the way that we think? There are vegetarians who still go out and hunt, they just don't eat meat for health reasons...but those are some sick fucks. Then there are the meat eaters like me who question eating meat....but...still. A majority of vegetarians are sickened by people eating meat and consider meat-eaters horrible murders. I know that I did while I was a vegetarian. Then there are the meat-eaters who cannot comprehend why someone would choose to be a vegetarian. I mean...this is supposed to be America the land of the free, but we judge people for a simple thing like what they fucking eat. I don't even understand why people make such a big deal out of it.....our ancestors would most likely have died off if they hadnt hunted for meat...so why is it such a big deal if we hunt? I'm not talking about the type of hunting where you go and shoot an animal just for fun...I'm talking about the type of hunting where you eat what you shoot. Hunters who just go kill for the thrill of it are sickening. But I can almost understand why they do it. It must feel nice to play God, huh?
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| I've killed before |
[ | April 07, 07 - 3:35 PM]
I've killed before
I kill myself every time I talk to you
I kill my mind every time I think about you
But I just can't stop
I'll never stop
Until I'm buried in the ground
Or perhaps all my drug use
Will erase you from my mind
And then I can be alive
But by that point
I prolly will have died from an overdose
Or just a plain old broken heart
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[ | October 02, 06 - 8:52 PM]
Everything's falling apart.
Yet again.
There's nothing I can do to keep the pieces from slipping through my hands like tiny grains of sand.
{{And how I wish, how I wish you were here}}
I loved you, you broke me down
Left me here, unable to even drown
My sorrows in whiskey
Or maybe a dimebag or two
Possibly some pills
Preferably coke
Hell, I could go on all year
About the things I wish you'd left
To help me heal this heart
But nothing will do the trick
Except of course, you yourself
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| I wish I could disappear |
[ | August 07, 06 - 8:36 PM]
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I hate relationships. I hate boys. I hate love. I hate emotions. I hate it all, fuck the world. Fuck it all.
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| I cant fucking believe it |
[ | July 31, 06 - 8:54 PM]
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One of my best friends, Tom, might end up in jail. He called me tonight and that might be the last time I talk to him for up to 18 months. I dont know what Im supposed to do. I find out tomorrow if he's in jail or just on probation. I hope its just probation, otherwise I wont know what to do without him. I'm so scared. He is so amazing.
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| Update |
[ | July 22, 06 - 10:50 PM]
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Well.....I cant really type right now. Drunk as fuck.....Life is amazing. Amazing people. Great friends. Hanging out with Maggie, like always.....summer is amazing. I love summer more than anything cuz I can do whatever I want, trying to show my dad Im responsible and I come home drunk as fuck.....oops. Oh well, life is great.
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| Single |
[ | July 15, 06 - 2:21 PM]
Well......yeeeeeeeeeeeeeep. I'm single, after the greatest six months of my life I have had my heart ripped out and shoved in the fucking blender. DJ completely broke up with me, and it sucks. I talked to him last night and he's changed into something absolutely disgusting. All he does is drink and fight, and it makes me sick to my stomach. Then me and Jimmy broke up because he's not over Lindzi yet.
"We're not gonna make out or anything."
I'm watching Garden State, this movie touches my heart so severely that I feel like my soul is on fire. It's a great feeling though, it's almost like because of this movie I feel complete for just a second of my life.
"So, I gotta go bury this hamster before the dogs eat him. Wanna come help?"
Life is confusing, but truly amazing right now. I feel much happier than I ever have before, even though I do get incredibly depressed at moments. But, in the end, I truly am feeling amazing
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| IT'S OFFICIAL! |
[ | July 10, 06 - 12:12 AM]
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Jimmy asked me ouuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuut and now we're officially dating....he's my boyfriend. Ladadadada.....he's amazing.
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| Update.........yay! |
[ | July 05, 06 - 10:24 PM]
Okay
Turns out the winner wasn't Manley...it was actually Jimmy
And he completely deserves it.
We aren't official yet, but....it's close enough.
I really like him, and I've spent the past three days with him. It's amazing. We talk so much, and I feel like I've known him forever. He's exactly what I've been looking for. I love it!
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| Happiness |
[ | July 03, 06 - 5:16 PM]
Things have changed.....and I'm happy
I love my boyfriend, and if things don't work out with him I have a looooooooong list of backup guys, lol.
The top 3 (personality-wise):
1. Manley
2. Jimmy
3. Eli
The top 3 (penis-wise):
1. Eli
2. Jimmy
3. Manley
The top 3 (looks-wise):
1. Jimmy
2. Manley
3. Eli
So.....I think Manley's the winner!
P.S.
Listen to Gold Mind Squad (now Havok in Hollywood....but I am not willing to accept that)
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